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Self proclaim saviors crack me up. I find it amusing when you meet one. They spend their time here at DA insisting that they have this humility, this ability to encourage everyone and everyone loves them. They promote others, they start clubs and have contests and give away prizes. (I've done it and it is fun. But man, oh man, if you cross them their disciples will come after you and flame you, so I wouldn't recommend going that route.

One of their favorite traits is posting one or more journals a day and you can be assured that it will fill up your message inbox on a daily manner. Their journal is ALWAYS about their constant struggle (I know mine is like that) and they ALWAYS have 150,000 comments of "You can do it!" or "I you". And yet in their humility, they find the time to respond to each and every comment within a reasonable amount of time with much gratitude and much love for I know they love themselves as much as you should.

Oh, and let's talk about those tags shall we. I think these people tag themselves sometimes to make it look how thoroughly popular they must actually be. I mean come on, you WANT to know all those unnecessary facts about your hero/heroine or your life would not be complete. It is one thing to ACTUALLY be tagged and turn it down, 'cause you recognize that the average person doesn't really care, but no, the savior's feed off of approval of others and know that their disciples will oogle and ogle over their redundant and silly factoids.

Then there's the $ and ` and @ and #$@! next to your name. The more symbols you have the more clout and power you exude. It means that someone near the top took notice of your amazing ability to post in the forums, brown nose a top dog, promote enough nudity, or tell someone their fly was unzipped and you got to become some kind of admin, mod, senior, top dog. Oh there's no real benefit we are told, none, other than you get a subscription til hell freezes over, you get extra blocks in your journal and that silly little symbol next to your name. Oh no you don't get recognition and heaven forbid you're still the same humble deviant you always have been.

Yes, the humility runs deep for the lovable kindhearted saviors of DA. They should be admonished and revered and placed upon the pedestals of our lives. For to bow down to them is not enough. I believe we should each sacrifice a piece of fan art to appease these gods and goddesses in our own manner of love and joy. For one day, if we're good enough, we too may find a place of recognition in the hallway, the linen closet or even - yes even the back porch of DA.

Yeah, whatever. Get a life! If there's no money involved who gives a rip?!

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So he'll be creating me a workout plan (and in a sense I'll be his guinea pig) regarding keeping tabs on me to see my progress.

New body by the heat of summer will be totally sweet!




Western Rope Inc - New Design
H&S Drywall - Print Brochure Cover
AMB - Integration of Old into New Store
AMW - New Design
Scotty Dogs (get paid)
Moegoofie - New Flash (yes Flash) Design & Storefront
Dave Irish - if still interested
Western Rope Inc - Print Labels (14)
Youth TRUTH - new site Design for trade
rangei: Happy Rock Coffee - new site Design & Trade
HP Web Solutions - new interface/design


FEARZ - Time to collect photos
:mad: FANTAZY - Came back with not the results I wanted. Either too wishywashy or too biased. Blech. I wish I could find someone who could test for me - responsibly.


= New. Not Started.
= Working on it
= Done!




Redevelopment of "The Game"
Which will require beta testing coming soon!



Trip to Mom and Dad at Thanksgiving
Trip to NYC to meet Anthony Church
Trip to the UK next year

So i meet Anthony Church [link] online and we start dialogging. He needs help with his website and i need a new body. if you look at him you'll see why I'm so giddy about this set up. He sends me all these forms and tells me he only charges $65 to set up my training. Too damn low. He and I will work on that I hope.



So he'll be creating me a workout plan (and in a sense I'll be his guinea pig) regarding keeping tabs on me to see my progress.

New body by the heat of summer will be totally sweet!




Western Rope Inc - New Design
H&S Drywall - Print Brochure Cover
AMB - Integration of Old into New Store
AMW - New Design
Scotty Dogs (get paid)
Moegoofie - New Flash (yes Flash) Design & Storefront
Dave Irish - if still interested
Western Rope Inc - Print Labels (14)
Youth TRUTH - new site Design for trade
Happy Rock Coffee - new site Design & Trade
HP Web Solutions - new interface/design


FEARZ - Time to collect photos
FANTAZY - Off to Testers check back in a couple weeks


= New. Not Started.
= Working on it
= Done!




Redevelopment of "The Game"
Which will require beta testing coming soon!



Trip to Mom and Dad at Thanksgiving
Trip to NYC to meet Anthony Church
Trip to the UK next year

The roommate is taking her 2 little white dogs with her to Canada for 5 days of a vacation. She hyped me up to go and then it turns out the people we'd be staying with had a plumbing break and I can't go. Now explain to me why she can go but not me.

Yeah.

My feelings are hurt but it's all for the best. I get the use of her computer - i'll be installing MW on her box and I'll be looking at working all 5 days and then going out and looking for a p/t job and other work thru craig's list. I'm not panicking but I'm kinda seeing that if my job ventures fizzle - like the young kid who wanted to be my marketing punk, then I need a full time job outside of home for real.

Perhaps this will give me time to reflect, get outside, burn some calories and not listen to misery known as the unforgiving and complaining spirit that comes out of my mouth when fueled by the angst of my roommate. No, I'm not blaming her, but we feed off each others' insecurities.

I know only one thing right now - I'm not moving home. But if I decide to leave here, I have no idea where to go.

Go a lot of work to do and several projects to work on. So a lack of work is no issue at the moment. Damn, I'm a blessed man and I don't even realize it yet.

I lose it and end it, will you hate me forever. I don't want to be remembered that I was such a loser and couldn't take it anymore.

Luckily I don't live alone otherwise.

JUST TALKING. But the thoughts are killing me from the inside out.

I hate her right now. But I hate myself even more for turning into this - a pathetic complaining fool.

I wish my liver would just melt like the doctor said. At least I could finally be at peace.

Fucking life.

Well, I got my heart ripped out and handed on a platter because I'm not honoring or respecting my wife, I'm not honoring or respecting God and I'm just running away from my problems.

The wife got angry because I'm going to Canada with my roomie for the weekend to get away because she lost her job today. The wife then asked when I will be moving back and that she's got stomach issues because I'm moved out. She went onto say that "don't you realize you took a vow to me and you have to honor GOD!!!!" and that I'm throwing away her family, brothers and sisters and all the nephews and nieces. I finally had to yell at her that I wasn't moving back at all and that I had to make the decision myself.

Okay, hold on a minute.

She's still trying to control it 'cause that's all she knows how to do - control it - schedule it - keep it safe.

So I get to the house and she's left me a note regarding how I'm supposed to follow her option plans.

A) Move home by July 9th. Meet & Counsel with Tim Davis or the counselors on staff at Eastside. Be willing to go to marriage counseling after I'm done with my counselor. And commit to paying $600 to the house fund by July 9th.

B) Move home by August 15th plus all that's listed above and then have a date night once a week and cook 1 - 2 days a week.


I WAS FURIOUS!

Who does she think she is - telling me what I'm going to do? I mean even suggesting it. Is she my mother? What the fuck! I left her a plan.

A) I CHOOSE when I will move back when I'm ready and won't be guilted, or coerced or told when that will be. I will get counseling thru whomever I choose and she WILL NOT be in charge of determining that for me.

I listed off some other stuff I can't remember now 'cause my brain is fried.

B) Greg and Karen will divorce.

That's the only two choices there is and that's that.

Yes, she's upset. Yes, she's crying. Yes, she called my friend whom I talked to and got my head bitten off. Yes, she's devastated. But fuck I am, too. This isn't a fucking picnic. FUCK!

Anyways, back to square one. I wish I could just leave Oregon and never come back, instead of move fifteen minutes away. FUCK!